Lasting Change Requires Two Things From You

There is still time, it’s still January…

The Romans named the first month of the year after Janus, the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances. Janus was always depicted with two faces, one on the front of his head and one on the back and thus could look backward and forward at the same time. At midnight on December 31, the Romans imagined Janus looking back at the old year and forward to the new.

When we want to make lasting change it is important to use the past as a learning platform on which to create the new. One of my old school hero’s Richard Bandler (Godfather of NLP) famously said that ‘it’s never too late to have a great childhood’. I take this to mean that our past can always be used as a resource from which we can grow, learn and succeed.

Even the most painful of life experiences can be transformed into resources that can assist us in getting to where we now want to be. The Alchemists of old were famed for being able to turn lead into gold and I think the world got caught up in the material idea and lost the true message. It would make more sense that this was originally a metaphor from the wise, letting us know that we are able to transform suffering into freedom, set backs into success and painful experiences into learning and awareness.

As Leila touched on in her SS blog last week, it’s well known that the majority of new years resolutions from losing weight to stopping smoking, from saving for a house to starting a new business go by the way side… The big question then is why?

There is no one answer but this does not mean that there are not answers. For lasting change to occur, two things are needed:
1. The attachment of deep, connected, genuine meaning to the outcome.
2. Processes that make the mechanics of change happen

If you have techniques but nothing of importance to attach them to, they simply do not stick. If you have deep desire but no change processes, you tend to go around in circles. It is this simple 2 step concept that stops most people making lasting change. People have all the diet knowledge and exercise knowledge they need, but cannot connect deeply enough with their outcome, so change does not happen.

Conversely, someone might have a genuine desire to lose weight but their approach is simply counter productive, the process they are using does not work. You know that smoking is not good for you, you have read every scare technique out there and been confronted with the weird and deranged (and in my opinion should be illegal) government adverts, yet still smoke, or your desperate to stop but the urges and cravings are too strong – you have not found a way to successfully overcome them.

You have a burning passion to be self employed, working for yourself and doing something you love, but just can’t figure out how to make it happen, or you have made a break to be your own boss, but the business strategies you used were no good and you have found yourself searching for a job again.

It’s always the same two issues, the attachment of meaning or lack thereof, or simply processes and strategies that don’t work. You need both to be aligned.

I would love to give you a throw away technique or meaningful quote that would magically have you sticking to your new year resolutions, but I’m afraid that Womans Own has beaten me to that. What I can tell you is that if something is important enough to you and you find out the ‘how’ it’s going to happen.

Lastly, in your desire to make your resolutions a reality I would caution against looking for ‘the key to success’ that is so often promised and promoted, as there isn’t one. We are far more like a combination lock, where there are numerous links that need to be aligned before the vault opens. Luckily, we most often find that there are only a few numbers to find and we never have to worry about losing the key…

So, for a few minutes, be the God Janus standing at this threshold moment of your life, look back and give thanks, acknowledge the learning you need to take and then look to the future, connect to what will make your heart sing (even if you have to sweat to get there) and leap into the open door of your future…

Now let me translate for those who know me: “get up of your fucking arse and make that thing you’ve always wanted to do happen. This does not necessarily mean that you have to give everything that you are doing up right now, you can always bridge into it, but get started for fucks sake…just start. Send that e-mail, contact that someone, write your first page, call that college, post a job on elance, stop eating just a little bit of shit, hit the weights… make a god damn start… Information without action is entertainment… so act act act.

There is still time, it’s still January. Happy New Year!

Soul Sessions salutes Alistair Horscroft, The Rogue Guru,
and the proud owner of The Mind Academy

When and where will we meet again?
Fresh soul here online daily ~ A Grand Love Story
Friday Feb 1? In person at our Melbourne launch Feb 1 ~ A Meaningful Life
Any time day or night? Soul Sessions Facebook page

LeeLasting Change Requires Two Things From You

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