By Alina Berdichevsky of Alina B Coaching
What conjures up inside of you when you are met by this word?
Loin-clothed yogis in twisty and pompous positions amidst patchoulied candlelight? Or famous freaks like Sting getting mystical in their trailer post Kabalah class on some sold-out tour?
Having been given the opportunity to get a glimpse of this practice over the past 5 years through the guidance of some amazing mentors, my similar assumptions are now blasted away and I can safely say that Tantra could be the salvation for everyday couples – suburban mums and dads in a coitus perma-rutus.
Whether you are a Buddhist, Vegan, Champagne-tarian or Paleo, what unites us all is that each human has a sexual energy. Like our digestive or respiratory systems, it moves and thrives depending on what we do.
Eat white processed carbs quickly downed by a McDonalds milkshake? Get major indigestion (if you’re lucky, that’s all you’ll get). But, fuel your body naturally with green wonder-foods and your insides will sing.
Such is the case with our sexual energy too: have the usual humpy-pumpy, cum-centric sex that’s normalised in porn and pop culture and experience the inevitable come down of boredem, frustration or simply settling. But, have beautiful, soul centric sex that honours your body as a sacred energy vessel, orgasmic beyond the genitals, and… like other tantric devotees… you just might experience a youthful, radiant and happy disposition, renewed and geniunely sexy time with your partner as well as a sudden burst of brilliant ideas at work.
Once we understand how our sexual energy works, we realise that the 10 minute, orgasm-focused sex that is likely taking place in most bedrooms across Australia – even tho (like a good junk meal) seems fun at the time, is actually incredibly taxing to our energy system as well as being counter-intuitive to what our bodies need and want.
In fact, when we get sexual ‘indigestion’, we create a whole host of dysfunctions, from erectile problems, to physical pain (UTI’s anyone?) and the more serious outlets like perversion and predation.
Tantra however, feeds the chakras and the soul. Even though it originates in our sex organs ‘down there’, by mindfully sending that energy up your spine and ‘spreading it’ around your body, you fuel your vital organs, heart, mind and with the very energy that created you (more on that later).
And just like learning to eat healthier requires new information and the adoption of some novel habits, so too does the practice of Tantra in everyday homes. But don’t tune out yet… it can be as simple as taking a deep breath while paying attention to your partner in a whole new way.
When I first started to practice my tantric ‘practice’, I realised how seldom I actually just paused with my man and looked into his eyes for any meaningful period of time; or how rarely we sat still, being quiet together. That Presence alone activated a whole new energy bubble between us that was fresher and more exciting than anything else we’d experienced before (and we tried a lot of stuff!). No rushing, no desperate grasping for ‘the end’. Our hearts had been craving for us to just meet together… and send vital information of how to love fully to the rest of our bodies.
We are all borne of sexual energy – and we innately know how to love. From the moment of conception, the foetus grows with the euphoric energy of orgasm, propelling cells to multiply rapidly. This is the essence with which each and every one of us enters the Earth. I am not sure how our experience of sex got so twisted up for us, but I want to take every care to ensure that as humans, this is not how we remain.
This post is my invitation for you to practice being sexually blissful this weekend. Restore that essential, sensual energy in your body that to me, is synonymous with love. You don’t even have to call it Tantra. Just call it breathing, slowing down and being. And who knows? Next time I see you, you may be looking 10 years younger.
Loving you, Alina x
Soul Sessions salutes Alina Berdichevsky,
founder of Alina B Coaching
When and where will we meet again?
Tomorrow? Fresh blog soul here (almost) daily ~ A Grand Love Story
April 10? In person at next Soul Session Sydney ~ Sex, Love & Domestic Bliss (or lack thereof)
Any time day or night? Soul Sessions Facebook page