Project: Spring Cleanse
This week on the cleanse (week three), I discovered that if I’m really to be successful in changing my eating and drinking habits longer term then I may have some serious unconscious digging to do. Let me explain…
The day prior to embarking on my six week cleanse, my beautiful friend and health coach MFL founder Leila Lutz said something that stuck with me. “One of the great added benefits of cleansing is that each time you do one you learn more about yourself,” she said.
Throughout week three, that statement has rung as true, as loud and as clear for me as the clanging bells of Rome’s San Giovanni Cathedral. After a rough week one on the cleanse, and an average week two – you can read about my initial cleansing pain here – week three has seen the storm clouds part and float away. I feel lighter (-3kgs), more positive about the future in general and steadier in the core of my being.
There are no energy highs or lows and I’m much better placed to respond to life consciously, rather than react to it effortfully as it wraps itself around me. The difference between the two states is ENORMOUS.
NOTE: I am VERY excited to be able to explain the food and biochemistry behind that state shift in upcoming posts. Why? Because it has the power to dramatically reduce (or even eliminate in some instances) stress, anxiety, mild depression, as well as mood and energy swings you may be experiencing. Subscribe to the blog if you haven’t already because this information could change your life. But I digress...
So, what has the cleanse taught me about myself this week?
Well… it’s a little raw and personal… so I ask that you please open your heart and be gentle with your judgements.
Have you ever got to the end of your day and been desperate for a drink? After a full day of argy-bargy out in the world ~ get up, exercise, rush to get ready for work, get the kids ready (if you have them), rush to get to the office, meet deadlines, perform in meetings, answer to your boss, rush to get home, think about dinner and whatever else is on your mind and agenda – it then all feels like it can be fixed with a friendly, harmless, relaxing glass of wine. I mean, that’s normal, right?
Well, that’s been my achilles heal right there, for years. The first glass would go down so nicely, that I’d pour myself another one, and depending on what was going on, maybe another one or two. And quite often, as I drank to wash away the rush of each day, I would pick at foods that I didn’t need because the two are like perfect partners in a really bad marriage.
That, of course, would lead to a terrible night sleep and the next day I’d wake up feeling tired, hungover and bloated. Oh, what a combo! Then, what would happen is I would get up, rush again to soldier on throughout my day, but I would know that the sh*tty feeling inside made perfect sense because I‘d drunk and eaten too much the night before. You still with me? Good, because this is where it starts to get interesting…
As many of you know, a big goal for me this year has been around cleaning up my health. During the first half of this year I was proud to lose seven kilos using the sound eating principles prescribed on this cleanse (high fat, moderate protein and low carbs).
The bit that I’m not so proud of is that five of those kilos managed to sneak back on when one innocent little Pink Manhattan cocktail (cheers to Jo!) turned into two months of my old wine and dining habits. Eek!
For the past three weeks, however, I’ve been alcohol free, caffeine free, exercising regularly and sleeping loads again. Despite feeling lighter as my belly flattens out and my fat deposits drop away, most mornings this week I’ve woken to feel an unfamiliar low grade sh*ttiness.
But, how can that be? The cleansing regime should equal vibrant good health, non? I just could not understand why I was not waking up and feeling on top of the world! Then – insert the clanging bells of San Giovanni Cathedral – it dawned on me. Could it be that the five kilos have crept back on because the weight has been protecting me from a deeper pain within? Whoa!
Could my cleanse now be exposing that underlying pain because I can’t mask it with the effects of alcohol, caffeine, carb or sugar hits throughout my day? Could there be an unconscious process at work that has been driving me to overeat and drink for the past six years… to create a pain that I CAN explain with my logical mind (hangover/bloat) to mask the real pain below?
Like I said, I’ve got some serious unconscious digging to do.
To be continued…