By The Gong Guru, Matt Omo
The last Soul Sessions to run was titled Sex, Love and Domestic Bliss (or lack thereof). What exactly does that mean? I’m a guy and I get the sex. (Not as often as I’d like to, admittedly, with all my waking hours focused on business, baby etc)
The love of course, makes sense, if you’re talking about Soul you have to embrace the love. All you need is love, Love, Love, Love. It’s interwoven in the essence of who we are. We are love. And I’ll stop before I head off on a Leo Buscaglia rant.
But, what the hell is Domestic Bliss? For a long time those two words didn’t seem to belong in the same sentence. When I thought of domestic, I had nightmarish flashbacks of all these horrific death sentences I had avoided from my past life as a single man.
In that lifetime, castration was perceived as a less painful option than domestication. In many a single man pack, any sign of being domestic would mean an onslaught of ridicule. But, as fate would have it, I was one day blessed with a beautiful caring woman (who is now my beautiful caring wife). Her company alone filled me with enough love and bliss that the desire to cling to the single male life fell a distant second to the possibility of making a life with her until death do us part.
I now find myself in a life adamantly resisted before I met her… a domestic life, which in my world begins each day with a wailing 6am call from baby (affectionately known as booga), followed by a spoon flinging, yogurt body scrubbing breakfast… an endless pile of laundry… a perpetually dirty house… a business partnership (with my amazing wife) that pulls me is so many directions, mentally, financially and physically that, at times, leaves me looking more disorientated than a wallaby caught in the headlights of an oncoming bus.
Then, this average domestic day tends to end with 30 seconds of what might be mistaken for foreplay, but it’s not because we inevitably fall into a sleep coma of exhaustion before in real play has eventuated.
So, where’s the bliss in that? It actually sounds worse than I dreaded as a single man. What happened to the fairy tale? Ah yes the fairy tale!
You see, in the beginning, unbeknownst to me, I was a new character plopped into my wife’s version of a fairytale. I was dressed in prince charming’s tights and placed on the white horse as I lovingly asserted an “I do” into her happily ever after.
She, on the other hand, flashed her dimple infused smile at me, from under her cartoon blue eyes, which I had inserted into my own man style X-rated fairytale… and together we lulled each other into an idea of what our life would be together… in the fairytale.
Then, we spent the next 3 years grasping for any remnants of this Self-(or Hollywood)-perpetuated Cinderella story, a story of two completely different points of view, held on to with great passion, and expressed or shared through a plethora of four letter words at times!
And between the F*ck-Sh*t-D*mn rants of love… therein lies the key to bliss. Acceptance.
Once we accepted that we were both holding on to an idea of what our domestic life would or “should” be like, and therefore resisting the reality of it, we were able to stop fighting against each other’s fairy tales and actually be with each other, in truth.
From that space we were able to begin to create a new fairy tale, with a new and a truth based reality and from this point we could let go of what we thought it “would” or “should” be and start writing (righting) the story as we went along.
In our new awareness and acceptance of lise as we were creating it, we were able to stop clinging to a happily ever after, and know that as we write each page together we will find a unique ending that works best for us both… and that will be perfect.
Right now, our blissfully domestic life, as perfect as a disposal poo filled nappy… messy at times, but bundled up nicely with funny Wiggles characters all over the outside.
What best describes YOUR unique version of domestic “bliss” right now?
When and where will we meet again?
Tomorrow? Fresh soul here online (almost) daily ~ A Grand Love Story Blog
Sydney, April 10? In person at next live Soul Session ~ Sex, Love & Domestic Bliss (or lack thereof)
Any time day or night? Soul Sessions Facebook page