Secret Men’s Business

I used to be one of those guys when I was like 20, 21 I would always wanna be getting married. Like I was always looking for the one and I thought at 21, I was happy to find the one and to settle down and have kids. And it was very interesting because I got my heart really, really broken and always pursuing women and,you know, always put the woman first and I was always the nice guy and always get my heart trampled on and yes that would cheat on me or would treat me like shit… you know that kinda stuff. And there was a book that came into my life right about when I met Ronnie actually, I don’t know if it came from you or someone else but somebody sent me this book and they gave me this book, I think it’s called David Deida or David Deida The Way of the Superior Man. Who has read that book? Okay, yeah this is not part of my talk but since we’re talking secret men’s book, I reckon this book is the Bible for men because there was a particular chapter in that book that absolutely changed my entire life, it changed my relationship with myself, it changed my relationship with women, it changed my relationship with money and in business. And it was a particular statement that’s really impacted me said to something along the lines that “women are not interested in you, they will not be interested in you if they know that you put them first” then I was like but that’s what I’ve been doing. I’ve always been putting the woman first, you know? I have always been checking with them and I’m the nice guy and you know “what would you wanna do honey? We will do whatever you want” and that kind of stuff. And it continued to say that “women are interested in a man”, it wasn’t exactly these words, “in a man who puts his purpose before the woman”. That made a huge impact in my life and when I began to put my purpose before the woman, I can’t tell you how many women, and look I wasn’t always as handsome as I am today alright? I mean there’s a few people I have known from before like Ronnie here, I used to be 25 kilos heavier, you know, I have this big moon head and I wasn’t the best looking guy okay? But when I started to put my purpose before the woman, I started to get a lot of good looking women into my life and a lot of fulfilling relationships. It’s just not about getting good looking women, I actually had fulfilling relationships. I would find that the woman would trust me more and what I read on that book was that the woman is looking for a man that puts his purpose first because, unconsciously or maybe we talk about feminine energy, maybe Thom is going to be talking about that later on but they know that a man that puts his purpose first is the man that can produce with them, the man they can create a family and it’s almost like they can trust that man. So it’s really impacted my life a lot and it is from that moment I started to shift everything and make everything about my purpose. My purpose came first and today that’s why I do. Today my purpose comes first.

I am single, okay? So I don’t know if that’s the worst but the thing is, I’ll be very honest, I’m single but very damn happy, okay? I mean at this stage in my life, I’m in a different city every single weekend so, you know, I don’t wanna say how many relationship I have because in a few minutes the women will watch it later. But I’m very happy and I’m very purposefully driven in my life. And what I wanna talk to you about is a little bit about purpose and how your intuition plays a role in your purpose.

You know, I think the greatest mistake that I’ve made in pursuing my purpose, and look some other things I want to say to you tonight would not be that typical things you’re gonna hear from your typical presenter. I’m not your typical presenter, I’m not here to say the typical things. I’m here to just tell you how it is and how I live and it may resonate with your or it may push some buttons, okay? But one of the things that I’ve found in pursuing my purposes the biggest mistake I made was I thought purpose was in what I did. When I began to connect more with my intuition and your intuition is your inner tuition. Everything that I’m sharing about, you already know, okay? Your intuition already knows, it’s not you, okay? And there’s parts of what I’m gonna be sharing with you, there’s parts of your body, there’s part of yourself, your energy will go, “Ah! I know this. I know it and it feels like I’ve always known it”. So the biggest mistake was a I thought purpose was in what I did. It was maybe in what I have but it wasn’t. Purpose was in who we are being. You know people go “you gotta do what you love to do”, “you gotta do what you love to do” but it’s not what you do that you love, its who you’re being when you do that. When I’m speaking to you right now, it’s not the speaking that I love, it’s the space that I connect to, its who I’m being when I’m doing this. So purpose is not found in what you do, it’s found in who you are. This is the biggest thing that I’ve realized in the path of, well let’s call it the path of self-realization, the path of truth.

So what I wanna talk to you a little about is… I don’t wanna talk to you about how to use your intuition because that’s boring. Why? Because you probably won’t be able to understand it. You see the thing about intuition is that it can’t teach it. You know it’s not a learnable thing, okay? Because it comes from a part of you that is not logical, okay? Comes from a part of you that is formless, okay? So the moment I start teaching you about intuition you understand it but you won’t be able to use it because there’s a big difference between knowing your intuition and actually being able to use it. So one of the biggest ways that I have brought more purpose into my life is having the ability to follow my intuition. The biggest reasons why people cannot follow their intuition is because their intuition has 0, nada logic into it. It really requires no logical explanation, it relies on our logic. That’s why they say women are more intuitive, this is not true. Men or woman have both masculine and feminine energy that impact what makes us whole and complete when you embrace your feminine and masculine energy. But women tend to use more of their intuition because they tend to use more of their feelings.

I remember sitting down in Bondi beach, I’m originally from Bondi, I’m sitting down in this coffee shop and these two women behind me were having this conversation and the reason I started to eavesdrop was because I heard one of them say the word intuition. I’m not usually the kind to do this but in this case I started listening and going, “What are they talking about?”. And this one lady was telling her friend about this huge life-changing decision that she was making. I don’t know what the story was because I got involved halfway through it, wasn’t sure what exactly they’re talking about. But all I knew it was huge impact, I think she had tears in her eyes and a friend was like playing devil’s advocate and goes, “Are you sure you want to do this? I don’t know if this is the best thing. It’s very risky.” and her friend’s like , “Yeah, I just know I got to do it. I just know I gotta do it.”. And you know what her friend said? “How do you know?” and she says, “I don’t know but I just know.”. How many times have you said that? How many times have you said I don’t know but I just know something? Men? Hello? Yeah, okay, I mean sometimes in business you use a gut feel and you’re like I know I gotta do this and maybe your business partner or somebody goes, “how do you know that?”, “I don’t know. I just know”. What you’re saying is I have no logical explanation, I have no logical reason of why I should follow this intuitive feeling but I just know because I have a feeling of knowing how to do it because your intuition expresses itself through a feeling of unknowing. Does that make sense?

So the first thing I want to say about intuition is that it is one of the biggest reason people don’t follow is because it requires logic. People require logic I should say. People require logical reasons of why I should follow my intuition but there’s no logic in love, is there? You know, I mean sure you may attach a logical reason: “Well, yeah she is hot, she’s younger” whatever. You may really find a logical reason, okay, but there’s no logic in love and what I think about love is that love is something in life that finds you, you don’t find it. Love is something that shows up in your life and that’s the same thing about intuition. So your intuition is not something that you find, it’s something that finds you. I wanna give you plenty of references of this, I want to give you plenty of examples of this.

In fact, you know me coming up here right now to talk to you, a lot of the times Eloise is telling you what I’m gonna say but a lot of the times I don’t know what I’m gonna say because what I choose to do is to get up here and speak to you intuitively. Now, one of the things about intuition is that your intuition takes place or is the voice of the present moment. It lives in this moment, it doesn’t live in the past, it doesn’t live in the future so the moment you take your thoughts and your attention to the past well you take your attention and your thoughts in the future, you’re now disconnected from your intuition. Your intuition’s still there but you’re not there. Do you understand? Because you’re no longer in the present moment. So one of the things I choose to do when I talk to you is speak to you intuitively so what that means is to get up here and share with you insights from the present moment.

So here’s the thing about intuition, wherever city I’m actually speaking in around the world I ask this one question and always get the same answer and the question is: How do you plan or script the present moment? And you know what the answer I get is? That. Just silence. How can you plan the present moment? You can’t. You can’t. You can’t plan the present moment. You can be open, you can be prepared, you can be open to the present moment, you can be in the present moment, you can’t plan it. So one of things about using your intuition is that, I mean, sure, there is still a plan unfolding through you and again the one of the other reasons for you to be able to use your intuition, I mean, so gonna be like to a lot of guys here right now, is because your creativity, your ideas, your solutions come from the intuition. But it all comes from this present moment and the thing is you can’t actually plan it.

Let me give you an example, one of the reasons it’s important to be able to follow our intuition besides purpose is that when you are following your intuition things become effortless. Who’s ever experience that? That things just become effortless. This effortless doesn’t mean it’s easy, you know? Whenever I go, you know, things become effortless, they go think what’s easy. Effortless means within you, within your soul, within your spirit there is an effortless feeling, you know? Your intuition or your let’s call it “flow”. The flow, we’ve all heard of the term the flow. I’m a sporting nut so I like to I refer to sport quite a bit. In sporting terminology they call it “the zone”. Okay, we all know what I’m talking about, yeah? The zone. Love guys, there’s no audience participation as well. Women be like yeah! yeah! The thing about “the flow” or “the zone”, okay, when you’re actually saying somebody is “in the flow” or “in the zone” what are you actually saying? You’re saying someone is in the present, someone is in the now. Does that make sense? So things become effortless. Now, you may love, for example, your flow maybe to climb Mount Everest, that’s what feels true for you, that’s what you have a love for but climbing Mount Everest does not mean it’s gonna be easy, does not mean it’s going to be tedious, does not mean there’s no risk involved, does not mean you’re not gonna break a limb or in fact you may even die. But what it means is that when you are climbing Mount Everest there is an effortless experience within you. So please don’t mistake what I’m saying about when I’m saying it’s effortless, it doesn’t mean it’s easy, okay? It means it’s effortless for you, inside of you, your soul is at rest, your soul is at peace, your soul is open, it’s inspired. So, you know, it is very important to be able to follow your intuition because the act of following your intuition is what creates the flow. You know when a sporting… a football player is playing out on the football field, anyone know Benji Marshall? Okay. Benji Marshall is one of the greatest football players and this guy, he just does these crazy moves and these crazy flip passes and all that kind of stuff but the thing is, he goes away from the plan. Can you see what i’m saying? The football team have a team plan but in many case when Benji Marshall is in his flow it’s when he’s going, “I’m gonna pass the ball on the right but I’m not gonna go that way because I feel instinctively that there’s an opportunity on the left”, and he flicks it on the left and knowing that the player’s gonna be there. Can you see what I’m saying? It’s not going to plan. I know we’re sitting here and we’re men and probably a lot of us have our own business and the business plan is very important, okay? I’m not saying it’s not important, the plan is important. But if you want the plan to come from your “creative sauce”, if you wanted to come effortlessly and wants for the plan to unfold within you, it does not take you planning, it takes you being in the present moment and feeling. It’s not a thinking process, it’s a feeling process.

Let me share with you a story, who here has ever experienced beginner’s luck? Put your hands up if you’ve experienced beginner’s luck.Alright, there’s quite a lot of you who have experienced beginner’s luck. I wanna share to you my story of beginner’s luck ‘cause I’ll give you some reference points and it was the very first time I ever played golf. I got a phone call from a friend of mine. Who plays golf here? C’mon, we’re men. Alright. I got a phone call from a friend of mine and he goes, “Amir, you gotta come play golf with us. Yeah, all the boys we get together, we play and the only person who is missing is you” I said, “Look, you know I appreciate your call but you know golf is not my thing”. And he continues to pursue me and he’s like, “Yeah come on we’re gonna play again this weekend. Are you sure you don’t wanna come?” and I said, “Look man, I really appreciate it but it’s not my thing, golf, but thanks for the offer anyway.” and he goes, “Look I really know you’re gonna love this”. And he kept pushing me so I said, “How do you know I’m gonna really love this?”, he goes, “I don’t know.It’s just a great thing. It’s like you get out there, it’s a real spiritual experience.”. Right about there, I was almost on my journey of being… looking for all the different spiritual experience. Someone would tell me, “Smoke this it will give you spiritual experience” and I’d go “cool!”, “Drink this it will give you spiritual experience” “Great”. You know so I was looking for the next spiritual experience and the so I said, “Fantastic! You know I’m down for a spiritual experience. But how is it a spiritual experience?” “Oh like you know, you’re out on the field. Golf is like life. The harder you try to hit the ball, the worst it does. Even Deepak Chopra’s written a book about golf.” You know and I was like, “Deepak you wrote about golf & spirituality?”. Well, you know. Alright, I’m down for this. So before we get out to the range, he plays a competition at this club and he wanted to take me and he goes, “I don’t want you to embarrass yourself, I don’t want you to embarrass me so why don’t we go take some practice shot”, I went, “Fantastic. Let’s go do that”. So he takes me out to a range and we rent out a hundred balls, okay? Gets the bucket of 100 balls and you know I’ve got no references about golf. Do you understand? The only reference I have is I know you use this stick and you hit the ball, it’s meant to go forward and I’ve seen that on TV but I’ve got no idea. I don’t have a plan about it, I have no agenda, I have nothing to prove to him, I have nothing to prove to myself. The only feeling if I could describe the feeling was I showed up completely open; no goals, no plan, no how. Does that make sense? Because I’ve got no references so I’ve got no choice but just to show up. So he gives me a ball and he goes, “Here’s the ball, I’m gonna put the ball down. Why don’t you just take some shots and then I can see where you’re at and I can critique you.” “Okay, fantastic, that’s great! Give me the bat”. He goes, “It’s not a bat, it’s a club, okay?” “Right. give me the club”. So he gives me the club and I line myself up in front of this ball and I just remember positioning myself there and like I said just being completely open. I had no target, I don’t know how far the ball was meant to go, I have no plan of, you know, hit the ball this way or hit the ball that way because I’ve got no references. So the only opportunity I had was to be completely open. So I attack a swing and I hit this ball, it goes straight and it goes good distance and you know, for those who play golf you know when you connected with the ball, connected with the ball and all I felt afterward was “this is fun!” you know? When you’re doing something that’s true for you and when you’re in the moment. it’s always fun, it loves energy, it is fun-loving. So I was like “yeah this is fun, this is awesome” and he kinda looks at me and went “do it again”. So went again, lined myself up, hit this ball, it went straight, it went great distance, he looks at me again and goes “do it again”. And again I’m just feeling “this is fun, this is a real fun thing” and I’m thinking maybe I’m gonna do more of this and those any thoughts I’m having. But every time I’m taking a shot I’m not thinking about the shot, there’s no thinking process, it’s just a feeling process. Why is there no thinking process? Because I’m not thinking about how I’m gonna hit this ball, I’m not thinking about how far it should be going. Can you see what I’m saying? So it allows me to just be in my feelings. Take the next shot, it goes even further, it goes great distance and I’m just thinking, “Yeah, I’m really enjoying this.”. And he looks at me and he goes, “Mate, you had me on.” I said, “What are you talking about?” he said, “You’ve played before” I said, “No mate, I’ve never played. This is the very first time I’ve ever swung a club” and looks at me and he goes, “Man, you’re pretty good. Do it again.”. So he puts the next ball down, by the time I get to the next shot, I suddenly had — where before I had no thoughts except for the thoughts of the present moment — I have a thousand and one different thoughts rushing to my mind. I started thinking to myself, “Oh my God, I wasn’t even trying before, he plays professionally and he thinks I’m really good. Maybe this is my next purpose in life, maybe I’m the next Tiger Woods. I wasn’t really sure. Let me show him what I can really do”. Like all these thoughts came into my head then and then I noticed my whole demeanor changed. Where before I would just shrug off, there’s no thought about, I’m just taking the shots. Now, I’m starting to take my time, I’m starting to think about the shot, I’m noticing that my grip is becoming tighter, I’m noticing that I’m doing these one and then I’m noticing well last time I go that far, I’m gonna get it even further so I created a goal around it. Does that make sense? The ball’s still sitting there and I go, “No, no, no, it’s just bad luck. Give me another shot” he goes, “Nah, it wasn’t bad luck, you just experienced beginner’s luck” I go, “ Nah, nah, I’ll give him another shot”. I had another shot, the ball just rolls around, have another shot the ball slides. I couldn’t get the shot again. The first three shots were amazing shots and I had a hundred balls there. The next 97 balls all just went along the ground. Every single one of them and I tried harder and I tried to focus more.

The reason you try to focus is because you’re not focused, the reason you try to be present is because you’re not present, but if you connect to your intuition, to your natural essence you notice that you already are present. The reason you need to be present is because you’re living in here. What does it mean to be living in here? Always controlling. Those people who are always looking to control things are those people who are most out of control in here. There’s no trust with themselves, not with the world, within themselves and they look to control the plan.